Your Morning Meow

 I don't start my days like normal people. Normal people start their days in boring manners. They start their day with an obnoxious alarm clock. I start my day the same way except my alarm clock is furry and has neither a snooze button nor an off switch. I don't want to get up. I will postpone it as long as possible even though I know the longer I wait the more the chance of bodily injury. Today, I have a back foot rake from one Napoleon.

Napoleon is really the least of my worries. Yes, he is a mammoth cat whose weight threatens to break my bones at times, but he is easily bought off with some kibble and a little ice water. After that, depending on the actual hour he will either begin another 18 hour nap on me or in the sun. Napoleon is not dangerous. He rules by default as the first one rescued from a vicious dog. He is my child.

The dangerous one is Ninja One now known as Ningee. I had no idea I was naming her after a Goddess when I changed her name but she did. Ningee is the runt of the infamous Furry 7 delivered the night her mother wheedled her way into my house and decided the top of the upright freezer was the right place for kittens. I have no idea in what order Ningee arrived, I just know Fire was the first. There were two black kittens, both female and the tiny one became Ningee with her impish face and long shining hair. Ningee rules by cunning and intelligence.

Ningee has mastered the cute meow. She begins with a high pitched me and ends with a low pitched but louder op. All this is done while widening her eyes and looking up at you with a heartbreaking plea. That is why it is best to view the spectacle from the side of your eye as full eye contact will render you incapable of refusing.

That was what happened today. I heard the trademarked Me-Op and glanced sideways but alas the Ningee was on the floor and I was on the bed and I had to turn my head. I beheld a sight I have never seen in almost 60 years of cat ownership. It was a sight that reduced me to a quivering pile of compliant jello as I laughed out loud. There on the floor was Ningee the Tiny with an entire empty bag of Temptations in her mouth, the bag almost the same size as she is. She emitted the Me-Op with the bag firmly in her little mouth, dropped it to the floor, looked up at me and let out a Meeeeee-OP that would have made a lion proud. I had to get her some Temptations.

It was then she used her psychic ninja powers on me and I accidentally spilled the whole half a bag of Temptations. As I am very fond of all my ten fingers, I did not attempt to retrieve a single piece. Instead I let Napoleon help her gorge and a few minutes later I discovered she was carrying a Temptation on her back. Eventually Napoleon relieved her of the offending morsel.

And that is how I started my day in sunny, hot South Florida, with a Me-Op and iced coffee.