The Life of a Napoleon

I was working hard cleaning out my night stand and tower to move things to install the new computer. Napoleon was helping, mostly by snoring but that beats him nosing into everything. I found a mojo bag full of herbs I decided was part its prime and tossed it. Then I found a tube of herbs that looked good and decided to smell them later for identification as they had no label. Instantly I had a Napoleon. Seems his nose is pretty darned good and I had found CATNIP. Even though I didn't give him any, he went into roll on the back mode and that was the end of all cleaning up.
Finally I relented and poured some on the floor. He had a ball. The only problem was he went out of the room and the other cats smelled catnip on him. Next thing I knew, it was impossible to get down the hall because of all the huge furry bodies rolling around.
It settled down and lunch time rolled around. I carefully measured my beef ration for the week as I had some nice roast beef from Costco. Unfortunately for me, Napoleon now had the munchies and I lost half my meat to him. Then he settled in for the 18 hour catnap.
About an hour later I was getting ready to go to the shop and Purdy von Sweets ran in. I had to get her out because she knocks the fan down so I yelled. You have never seen quite the look I got from Napoleon who now seems to have one heck of a hangover. I wound up turning the fan off.
But this is day for stoners.
When I got to the shop it was water all the herbs time. As I got to the oregano, a small iguana walked out of it complaining about the cold water bath and licking his eyebrows (or what passes for an eyebrow ridge on an iguana). I kept watering and he looked kind of sideways at me and leisurely, with a bit of a stagger, walked away and slowly, and I mean slowly and carefully, climbed a few feet up the oak tree to be at eye level with me. There he sat watching and I swear his eyes were going in different directions. I finally concluded there was something wrong with that lizard. On the way in, I remembered all the tales about smoking oregano. Of course, I never smoked anything. I'm allergic to everything but some people swore they got high. I wonder if iguanas get high eating oregano because that boy has been really indulging in my crop. Let's just say I won't be harvesting that plant. Now, if I can just keep the other two hidden from the iguanas, I may have fresh oregano.